I want to touch on a topic that's doesn't get nearly enough airtime: the interplay of ego and intimacy from a Woman's perspective. We often skirt around these conversations, but it's time to bring them to the forefront, casually and candidly. So, let's talk about it...ALL of it.
When He Finishes Quickly
We've all been there. He wraps things up sooner than expected, and while we might roll our eyes or tease him a bit, there's a secret part of us that's doing a little victory dance. Sure, we can claim annoyance, but let's be real...knowing we had such an intense effect can be a bit of an ego boost. It's that unspoken acknowledgment that we've still got "it."
The Art of Fellatio: Snatching Souls
Let's not even get started on the art of fellatio and how it can make us feel like we're holding all the cards. There's a certain confidence that comes with mastering the art of pleasure and knowing you can make him weak in the knees. When we talk about "snatching a man's soul," it's not just playful banter. It's about owning our sexuality and taking pride in our ability to bring someone immense pleasure. It's a powerful feeling, and it feeds into our sense of self in the bedroom.
Reading His Reactions
On the flip side, if he seems a bit disconnected or he's quiet or not as responsive. Our minds race: "Is he not enjoying this? Did I do something wrong?" In reality, he's just trying to find his rhythm, or perhaps he's holding back to prolong the experience. But our ego doesn't always accept that right away. We crave that validation, those signs that he's as into the moment as we are.
The Ex Factor
Then there's that tricky territory of no longer wanting someone but feeling a twinge of something when we find out they've moved on. A mix of emotions surfaces. It's not necessarily jealousy or regret. It's more about our ego grappling with being replaced. It's the realization that life goes on, and sometimes, that can be a tough pill to swallow. We might not want him back, but we also didn't expect him to move on so effortlessly.
The Push and Pull of Desire
We might decide not to rush into intimacy, valuing our own boundaries and timing. Yet, if he doesn't make a move or seems unbothered by waiting, it can leave us feeling a bit...conflicted. We can't help but wonder why. It's a paradox. We don't want to give in too quickly, but we also want that validation to feel undeniably desired.
Pressuring Him to Finish
"Are you close?" "You gonna cum for me?" Sound familiar? Sometimes, we're ready to wrap thing up before he is. Maybe we're tired, or perhaps the mood isn't right anymore. Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, we find ourselves urging him to finish. Maybe whispering things we think will push him over the edge. It's a mix of impatience, excitement, annnnddd it can also be a bit of a power play. We might even blurt out something bold like "Cum in this pussy," a way to assert control over the situation.
Comparing Climaxes
Ever found yourself wondering if his climax was as intense as yours? It can leave us questioning--did he enjoy it as much? Is there something lacking? It's not a competition, but part of us might hope that the experience was just as mind-blowing for him as it was for us. It's another way our ego sneaks into the bedroom, seeking reassurance through shared pleasure.
The Subtle Competition
All of these scenarios highlight a subtle undercurrent of competition. Not with others, but within ourselves and our relationships. It's not about seeking external validation in an overt way. Instead, it's more about an internal desire to be memorable, to be the one who stands out in his mind. We might downplay it, but there's a quiet confidence in knowing we've made a lasting impression. It's a nuanced dance of confidence, vulnerability, and the desire to feel desired.
Additional Thoughts
Emotional Vulnerability
Sex isn't just a physical act. It's intertwined with emotions. Our ego is sensitive during these moments because we're baring more than just our bodies. We're also exposing our desires and vulnerabilities.
Societal Expectations
We're often caught between conflicting messages like, be confident but not arrogant, be sexually liberated but not "too much." These mixed signals can feed into how our ego responds during intimate moments.
Desire for Mutual Satisfaction
Ultimately, we want to ensure that both partners are enjoying the experience. If we sense that's not happening, it can trigger insecurities or prompt us to overcompensate.
Embracing the Taboo
Talking about women's ego in the context of sex is often considered taboo because it challenges the demure, modest narratives we're accustomed to. But acknowledging these feelings doesn't make us any less genuine or sincere in our connections. If anything, it adds depth to our understanding of ourselves and our partners.
8 Comments
Apr 1, 2025, 12:08:57 PM
Velvet Berry - lol I totally get it. Thank you so much for reading and for your feedback.
Apr 1, 2025, 10:24:03 AM
Jaye P - Whew, this is a lot to process! However, when I say ‘you gonna fum for me?’ Or ‘cum in this pussy’ I’m not trying to ‘wrap it up, B!’ 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 but im only speaking for me lol
Dec 16, 2024, 1:26:40 PM
Velvet Berry - Thank you!
Dec 12, 2024, 9:55:57 PM
William - I love your work
Nov 28, 2024, 3:36:33 PM
Velvet Berry - Thank you so much and I appreciate that you took the time out to read this!
Nov 28, 2024, 1:14:14 PM
Sharon Lewis - Really enjoyed this
Nov 27, 2024, 9:57:30 PM
Velvet Lenae - It's definitely easy to get caught up in our thoughts. And if we're not present in the moment of the experiences, we miss out on amazing orgasmic experiences. Some of those thoughts come from our ego of wanting to be not only good, but the best. Enjoy the moment, stay present because at this point, you're stopping your amazing experience...not your partner.
Thank you so much for your comment. This is a good convo to keep going. Please share with others so that they can join the convo. We can all support each other. :)
Nov 27, 2024, 8:11:06 PM
Palesa - This blog touched on the many variables that we definitely be thinking about when we are having sexy time with our honeybuns. The part about being in our head thinking: Are they enjoying what I am doing; do I need to adjust/go hard or softer; am I being to damn aggressive or not assertive enough sometimes be living rent free in my head. I know it all boils down to have those informative conversations but when you get caught up in the moment they tend to go out the window of your thoughts. If you know the person is worth investing in having these conversations it will lead to some hella good intimate/pleasurable moments and experiences!